This morning I woke up early, and instead of turning around once more, I decided to book some quality time with mother nature. As I stepped out of my bed, I felt surprisingly awake. Since I am still fasting (a little), I made myself some tea, a banana, a pear and some nuts and considered myself ready to go. Just me, Pip (my car) en my camera (still nameless).
I put a new destination into my google maps and I surrendered myself to the Universe. Let’s see what today might bring. As I was driving I suddenly see a traffic sign directing to the area I wanted to go to, but pointing in the opposite direction of what my google maps was saying. Since I promised myself to surrender to the universe, I followed the signs. It turned out to be a good move as I end up on a parking sport very close to the heather I was heading for and my reunion with mother nature, panchamama, was just a few footsteps away.
In January I had a knee surgery which prevented me from having any nature time in 2021, especially with the tremendous snowfall we experienced two weeks ago. However, the tie had turned and within a week the weather transformed from 15 cm of snow into the most sunny spring day, and my knee was feeling stronger and stronger and definitely strong enough for a little stroll.
As I entered the heather, I felt my heart stop and fill itself. I took a deep breath and just like that a smile appeared on my face. I could just feel the love enter my body and at that moment I realize this amazing area is just 15 minutes away from my front door. I feel a wave of gratitude passing through my body as I proceed.
After five minutes of walking I come at a crossroad and I realize I have been here before, just recently. However, back then we definitely took a different turn, leaving us in a totally different environment than I was about to embark upon right now. At that time, I was not in the best mood so I definitely did not want to walk the same road as I did that time. So I chose to go straight ahead this time. And I was definitely rewarded. As the sun was rising, and just a few people were walking their dogs I felt the greatness of nature. Being there all by myself (most of the time), I could just feel her refuel me.
Mother nature had been calling me for a private conversation. And now she was embracing me, welcoming me back into her arms, smiling that I had found my way back to her. She showed me all the beauty she knew I could handle and needed to heal my heart and release my stress. The waters were filled with light, the birds were chirping and flying around, the trees were waving at me as the wind touched their leaves. In all it quietness, it was greatness.
As I was walking for about 15 minutes I suddenly see a familiar crossroad yet again. I had been waiting to find this particular spot, although I had no idea why. Just like I had no idea when I would find it for that matter, I just knew I was going to return to that spot since the first time I walked there. And here it was. It was in this private conversation with mother nature that she got me reunited to the path I had been walking last spring. And the path that I was forced to quit because of my knee injury. The pilgrim path.
As I turned upon to the path, I felt my body realign, like I just refound my own path. Like I just got realigned to myself, to who I am becoming and to who I am here to be. In the beginning, I got a little bit scared. Being back was good, but I also wondered whether I was ready for it? Am I really ready to leave it all behind and start walking this path again?
I decided to stand still and ask panchamama for help. And as I look left the sun is shining so bright and birds start rising up from their hiding places, inviting me to walk along. And so I did. Reunited with nature, reunited with myself, reunited with the light.
Sometimes I wonder whether it there is something wrong about being alone, or wanting to be alone and whether it isn’t better to be together. Yet when I am walking, when I am together with mother nature this doubt fades immediately. The thing is, we are never alone. We are always surrounded with love and love is all around us. And when we are alone, we finally have the time, space and rest to feel it. We do not need things or people to make us whole, we are already one.
Being in this thought process, I was so busy reconnecting with nature that I totally forgot about my knee and it was at this point that I suddenly burst out of my bubble and realize that it might be best to sit down for a while, not asking too much from my body. Normally, I would have felt like I would have to go back, forcing myself to leave the joy because my knee is not well, but this time I realized I do not have the leave the good, I can just rest with it and take my time.
Even better, after resting for a bit I felt like I wanted to continue. And so I did. I saw a new route that one was only allowed to enter before March 15th and although the weather might say it is April or May, it is still February and again I felt like the happiest kid alive. This spontaneous walk now allowed me to walk a path I couldn’t walk last time, it allowed me to discover something new, and it allowed me to get off the beaten track (a little bit). Yet, at first I felt like I should not do it, like it was not permitted and I should stay outside this gate. That was the moment I realized I have been doing that the whole of 2021, feeling prisoned, and caged and not allowed to do the things I really wanted to do and it stressed me out. So I decided to do things differently and entered the area. Immediately, as I pass the gate I feel my body releasing a burden, feeling free. The main path had served its purpose and now I was leaving it behind me to walk on, alone. Alone with the birds, the sun, the water, the trees. Happier than I had felt in a long time.
Although I could have kept walking for ages, I reasoned with myself it was better to go back. Rest before I do too much and my body will force me to postpone my next reunion with nature. As I walk back, and sit down on a bench one more before heading out, I see more and more people coming. It filled my heart with joy that so many people from any ages, elderly, families, couples, loners, were finding their way to this beautiful area. To experience the love the nature is giving them for free, unconditionally.
As I stepped out of this magic area, which felt not only like a reunion to nature but also to myself and my path, I smiled. Not only did I feel reunited with nature and myself, I also got to enjoy her in private, in her most precious ways.
Thank you for the wonderful morning conversation panchamama, I will return.